


Lieutenant, We Shrunk the Colonel

by Fandom_Trash_15



Series: RoyEd Month 2020 [6]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: 520 Day | Edward Elric/Roy Mustang Day, Alchemy Accident, Comedy, Edward Elric Swears, Fluff, Getting Together, Havoc and Breda find the whole situation hilarious, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Riza Hawkeye is Not Amused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24330646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_Trash_15/pseuds/Fandom_Trash_15
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple mission. It was just an evaluation of some practically unknown research alchemist. Then Roy stepped into an array, which promptly activated, and seemingly disappeared, all while the Alchemist is nowhere to be found in the house. Edward panics a bit, because Lieutenant Hawkeye’s going to kill him for losing the Colonel, he just knows it.Written (late) for 520 day and the RoyEd Month 2020 prompt : promisestory inspired by the idea of borrowers aus and art of shrunken Roy:https://reeeepa.tumblr.com/search/roy%20ministanghttps://twitter.com/cowaniaa/status/1259201568865259520?s=20
Relationships: Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Series: RoyEd Month 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726204
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42
Collections: RoyEd month





	Lieutenant, We Shrunk the Colonel

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how long this is going to be, and probably won't be regularly updated, but leave comments on what you think :)

It was supposed to be a simple mission. It was just an evaluation of some practically unknown research alchemist. Then Roy stepped into an array, which promptly activated, and seemingly disappeared, all while the alchemist is nowhere to be found in the house. Edward panics a bit, because Lieutenant Hawkeye’s going to kill him for losing the Colonel, he just knows it. It’s not until he hears Mustang calling his name that he feels a modicum of relief.

“Where are you, you bastard?” he calls out a little desperately, squinting in the darkness of the room and lowly lit hall, trying to make out where Mustang might be.

“Over here!” the Colonel shouts. The sound is muffled and hardly audible, and Ed finally spots the uniform still at the center of the previously unseen array, with a small lump moving under the cloth. Ed’s relief dissipates quickly and he can again only feel the dread of having to face Hawkeye. Carefully, Ed reaches across the wall just inside the doorway, feeling for the light switch. He finds it and turns the light on of what is obviously the lab/study before squatting and using the edge of his jacket to break the chalk line of the circle so he can safely make his way to the pile at the center. Gingerly, Ed picks up the bastard’s uniform jacket and the small lump falls out the bottom, making a barely audible grunt. Ed just looks blankly at it before cursing to himself.

“I’m fucking dead. I promised Lieutenant Hawkeye I’d keep you from doing something stupid, and now she’s going to fucking kill me,” he says as he drops the cloth to the side. The shrunken Colonel Roy Mustang just laughs.

“Not until after she kills me. The Lieutenant was against me going on this venture from the beginning. I do so hate it when she’s right about these things,” Roy complains, before he starts shivering. This snaps Ed out of his self deprecating slump and makes him actually take in the situation. Mustang is curled up in a ball, obviously naked. Curled up as he is, he’s probably two or three inches tall, but if he were to stand straight he would probably be closer to five or six inches. Thinking quickly, Ed tears a strip of the shirt the Colonel had been wearing under his jacket and alchemizes it into something that the Colonel could wear.

“Here, before you freeze,” he says, dropping the roughly made garment on top of the tiny man. With a sigh, Ed stands and walks over to the tables covered in papers and books to inspect them. All of the loose pages and hand written journals are in code, and Ed’s not read most of the books that are scattered around, so there is no immediate answer to this situation. He’s so focused on the papers that it takes a minute and the continuous pressure of something on his foot while something pokes his leg for Ed to become aware of the Colonel calling his name again.

“Fullmetal! Can you even hear me?” he’s shouting, though it doesn’t carry very far and gets quieter the further away the sound travels. Ed shakes his head and leans down to gently pick up the tiny man.

“Yeah, sorry. I was looking through this mess,” he says, setting his CO on the tabletop. Roy doesn’t look pleased with the manhandling or having to shout.

“Did you find anything useful, then?” he asks with a frown, arms crossed. Ed sighs and shakes his head.

“All the hand written stuff’s in code. It’ll take me a while to decode and try to figure out a way to reverse that array,” Ed admits. Roy groans and shuffles around a little, obviously still cold despite the gown-like shirt Ed had made for him. Ed’s frown deepens, but he takes off his left glove. “Here. This might help you stay warm while I get shit together,” he says, offering it to Mustang. Roy debates with himself, but takes it before it loses too much warmth.

Ed starts with stacking all the books and gathering all the pages with writing into the journals. He then sets aside a blank piece of paper and a pen before turning to retrieve the Bastard’s clothes from the middle of the circle. He’s careful as he picks it all up, so that he doesn’t erase any chalk lines or symbols. He quickly copies it all down onto the paper for later study. Then he turns back to Mustang.

Mustang is curled up again, leaning against a stack of books, and using Ed’s glove like a shawl. He had been watching Ed’s progress, but steadily started drifting off and is now on the edge of unconsciousness. Ed gently pokes him, startling him to awareness.

“Just wanted you to know I’ve got everything together. I just gotta find something to carry it all in. Do you wanna stay here or ride in my pocket while I find a bag or suitcase?” Ed explains. Roy makes a face.

“I am not going to be carried around everywhere! I can walk just fine, thank you!” he protests. Ed rolls his eyes.

“Sure you can; but will you be able to keep up with me? Especially with all of those stairs you’d have to climb up and down?” Roy thinks this over, and Ed makes another point. “You’d also probably be safer and warmer in my pocket than wandering around on the floor.” Roy’s shoulders slump in defeat.

“Fine. But you will keep the manhandling to a minimum,” he demands. Ed shrugs and offers his hand for Roy to climb onto. Roy drops the glove and tentatively crawls on, sitting in the center of the palm. Ed curls his fingers around him and slowly lifts. Roy grabs one of the fingers as the hand moves, and Ed carefully lowers it to his pocket and let’s Roy slide himself in. Once he’s secure, Ed picks up and puts his glove back on. Then he walks as smoothly as he can out of the room and back up the stairs to find something to carry all of the research, and Roy’s clothes.

It takes a while, but Ed finds a suitable box he can use. He checks in with the man in his pocket to make sure he’s doing ok, and then makes his way back to the basement. Ed quickly loads the Colonel’s shoes and clothes in first, then stacks the books around that before piling the journals and papers on top of everything, and folds the page with the array and puts that into his personal journal. With a sigh, Ed realizes that he’s done and has to make a decision. He pokes his pocket to get Mustang’s attention.

“So, should I call the office and give ‘em a heads up about what happened now or after we get to the hotel?” he asks, looking down at his pocket. Mustang had stuck his head out so he could be heard clearly. He thinks for a minute before making a decision.

“At the hotel. You’re also going to make an excuse for my absence,” Mustang tells him. Ed nods and Mustang goes back to hiding in the pocket. Ed sighs and picks up the box and carefully exits the house.

It’s only early evening, and the streets are mildly busy. Ed makes it to the hotel without getting bumped into or making the ride too rough for his passenger. Inside, he makes his excuse to the desk manager, giving him some story about Mustang having been recalled to Command earlier that afternoon for an emergency that prevented him from collecting his things. The manager buys the whole thing and wishes Ed a good evening. Ed nods and heads to the room.

In the room, he drops the box on Mustang’s bed and sits on his own, right next to the phone. Mustang crawls out of his pocket and makes his way to the pillow. Ed stares at the phone for a long few minutes before looking over to Mustang, who’d been staring at him.

“I really don’t want to make the call,” he finally sighs. Roy snorts.

“Well, I’m currently physically incapable of doing it, so it has to be you,” he retorts. Ed sighs again before something clicks in his head, making him smirk. Roy squints his eyes in suspicion. “What’s that face for?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all...shrimp,” Ed answers with a mean laugh.

“Are you really going to start this _now_!? Not even let it sink in for a day before you start making jokes?” Roy demands, face turning red in anger and embarrassment. Ed just laughs over him before sighing again.

“Gotta get my revenge for all those jokes you made at me now, because I’m gonna be focusing on fixing your dumbassery more than making fun of you for the foreseeable future,” Ed comments while Roy pouts. Ed picks up the phone, then stops.

“Nobody’s gonna be at the office by now...What’s the Lieutenant’s number?” he asks. Roy sighs, but gives it to him. Ed dials and waits, good humor leaving him while he listens to the ringing.

“Hello?” Hawkeye answers cautiously. Ed swallows, but responds.

“Hey, Lieutenant. It’s Edward. Just checking in with you; letting you know that Mustang and I’ll be on the morning train, and will be back in East City by noon,” he says.

“Why isn’t the Colonel telling me himself? What happened?” she asks, now suspicious.

“Well, it’s not entirely _our_ fault: it was dark, and we couldn’t immediately find the light switch,” Ed starts, wetting his lip. Roy rolls his eyes, but is a tiny bit grateful that Ed isn’t pinning all the blame on Roy. “Anyways, the alchemist wasn’t home, seemed to have been long gone by the time we even got there, but Mustang ended up finding the lab...by walking in and activating an array that was left on the floor.” Ed takes a breath before finishing. “He is currently about six inches tall.” Hawkeye is quiet on the other end of the line. She’s quiet enough that Ed is worried the call dropped until he hears a sigh.

“I will send Havoc to the station to bring you straight to the office. I assume you have all the research?” she finally says. Ed lets out his own sigh.

“Yeah. All the writing is in code, and’ll take me some time before I crack it. Is there anything else you need to know before we meet up tomorrow?”

“Not that I can think of for now. I’ll see you tomorrow Edward,” she says after a few minutes of deliberation.

“See you tomorrow, Lieutenant,” he says, and they both hang up. Ed sighs, and feels like some of the weight is lifted from his shoulders.

“That sounds like it went extremely well, all things considered,” Roy comments. Ed nods, looking back at him.

“Yeah, because she hasn’t had time to process and we’re not there for her to shoot,” he replies. Roy grimaces. They sit in silence for a few minutes before Ed stands and stretches.

“I’m gonna get something to eat. Do you wanna stay in my pocket or here? I’m just gonna get some take away,” he asks. Roy doesn’t look happy with the options, but there’s nothing he can do.

“It’s probably best if I stay here. Just be quick,” he decides. Ed nods and leaves. He finds an Arugonian place that looks good and makes the order, and is back at the room before the hour is up. They eat in silence. Ed has to help Mustang clean up in the sink before he gets himself ready for bed. They have a long day ahead of them, and Ed really hopes he doesn’t get shot.


End file.
